Life...precious life...

My heart hurts so bad, as we contend for the life of one of my friends baby boy.  Avery is holding on to life, by the grace and strength of Jesus.  He has been such a little fighter, I haven't even been able to meet this sweet, precious little baby boy, but he truly has my heart.  Avery stopped breathing last night and is on life support.  From the reports of his momma, he is not doing well, the machine is doing all the breathing for him, his eyes are swollen shut from an infection and at this point he is lifeless.

I cant help but think of my little babies, especially Joshua, being that Avery is a baby boy.  Life is so delicate, and we should never take any moment for granted.  Every second that we have with our babies should be spent loving them as hard as we can, some moments we just never get back.  There are mommas out there, such as Jennifer, with aching heart as they have to watch their babies fight to live. Some don't even get the chance to snuggle, kiss and hold their babies.....

Jenny is my hero...she has placed her trust in God, and has still managed to have a smile on her face.  She is so strong, and so brave!!! Jenny, my heart is with you 100%, as I and many others contend for a miracle in the life of little Avery!

This is baby Avery, 2wks old. Please pray with me for Avery to be made whole!

To hear more on Avery's Journey visit heartonapilgrimage.wordpress.com.

finding satisfaction in Him....

There is always the pressure, you know, the pressure of fitting in & the necessity to look a certain way, and follow the hottest trends.  Happiness now is linked to being a certain pant size, and joy has become the product of being accepted by everyone around you.

I have been struggling with this image deal for a while now.  Four yrs into marriage, and two babies later, my body is not the same, I have gone up in pant & shirt size, and I am constantly faced with the same issue in my heart, the fight to fit in and look as good as others, and the longing to feel beautiful.

Why does it have to be this way?  Why must my happiness be based upon looks? or fashion? or whether I have the best clothes in my closet??

I have been thinking a lot about life, about God, searching my heart and asking myself...What is my source of Joy, and in who do I find my joy in?  I have come to this conclusion....I was made for Jesus, I was made to be satisfied by Him and not by what this culture thinks my satisfaction will come from.  There is Something so much bigger, and Someone so much greater then being so caught up with societies standards.  Don't get me wrong, I love feeling beautiful and confident, but where is the source of that confidence being pulled from? Is it Jesus, is it who He says I am or is it the size 6 pants I have been dying to fit back into!!

We were all created with this longing for beauty, with this longing for more, for the next big thing.   I'm constantly giving the longings of my heart over to other ideas, and letting material things be the things that give my life happiness & meaning...when in reality, the beauty is the one of our Lord, the longing is to long for Him and the next big thing, are all the mysteries He has to share with us.

What does it really look like to set my eyes on things above, what does it really look like to seek first the Kingdom of heaven, what does it really feel like to lay up my treasures in heaven and how does it feel to really, 100% be satisfied in Jesus Christ....Oh, how I desire to live for one thing and one thing alone, to meet Jesus! That as long as I have him, everything that this world has to offer is NOTHING.  Why not be happy and content with just knowing God, with searching Him out and living a life of simplicity that God and His truths would have preeminence in my life.

One of my bestest momma friends Nicole and I have been sharing our hearts on finding our confidence and joy in other things but Jesus! She wrote a post as well so go check her out over at The Chronicles of a stay at home mom;)

Having a Mary heart in a Martha world.

Feeling drained? Some of us work as stay at home mommas, some work a full time or part time job a long with having to run a home, take care of kids and make sure the husband is satisfied and taken care of as well.   Growing weary at heart is a place we often find ourselves in, I for one, tend to be in this place quit often.

The battle with in us always remains, and sometimes we fight it vigourously and other times we give in to all the mundanes and weariness this life may bring...The ever so constant battle is...

FINDING INTIMACY WITH GOD IN THE BUSYNESS OF LIFE...

I have been looking at the story of Mary and Martha out of Luke 10:38-42 ....Martha was so ready to serve, I mean after all, the great teacher and friend was going over for dinner!  The house had to be squeaky clean, everything had to be in its place, the food had to be cooking and EVERYTHING just had to be PERFECT.  She was so willing and so ready! Do you ever find yourselves in that spot?  I DO!! Not just when guest are coming to visit but I am like that everyday!  Going through my daily chores, making sure the kids are fed, house is clean, and lets not forget smelling amazing, dishes are done, laundry is washed, floors are swept and vacuumed, dinner is ready and served for the husband after work, and the list goes on and on! I know I am not alone on this one ;) 

During all that hard work and service Martha was doing for Jesus, she found her self in a place of discouragement...and even doubted if He cared!

Mark 10:40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell Her to Help me?

I am completely guilty of asking myself the same question, Jesus Don't you care??? All this that I am doing, why don't you care?? Then I find myself not only having a distracted heart, but a discouraged and doubtful heart as well.   What I really love in this story is the response Jesus gave Martha.  In His tenderness towards her, and in His love.....

" Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things, But onething is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken from her"

I don't think Martha was in the complete wrong, or that Jesus was pointing fingers at her and favoring her sister.  After all we are called to serve, BUT first we are called to LOVE HIM! and that is what Martha was missing.  Not that she didn't love Jesus, but she wasn't taking the time to just BE...to sit, to listen and to be refreshed by the words of Jesus, the onething that Mary her sister did understand.

Yes, our homes must be kept, children must be fed, and dishes are to be cleaned, but that servanthood must be birthed out of a place of prayer and intimacy with the Lord.  We must choose the good part, so that in our service to Him, we don't become burned out and truthfully miserable! 

He is the oil that will keep our lamps burning, and the one that will drive us to serve our families and others the way we do,  all out of a place of LOVE, and INTIMACY with Him.

Now, what are some ways you all maintain a Mary heart, in a Martha World?? please share ;)

Raising Spiritual Children

This past Friday, one of my best friends (Ms. Alexia ;) )shared with us an encounter she had a few yrs back. She had been meditating on a verse in the bible ( scripture to come) where Jesus says he is in heaven with the Father, and she kept asking herself, how could Jesus be walking on earth and be with the Father at the same time? So she took that scripture and started meditating on it, and then she drifted off, and the Lord spoke to her through this encounter on what Jesus ment. I really want to share this, because as she was explaining what she felt it ment, I was thinking of my life and of Grace and Joshua and how this revelation can be carried on in the way we raise our children.

  In her encounter she was standing on what looked like the sea of glass, and in front of her was a huge gate and she had the ability to somehow go under the gate and peak inside, when she would go under to peak inside she would hear music and see all different types of colors swirling around, as if the music produced colors, she just kept doing the same thing over and over again.   As soon as she woke up from the dream or vision she was having she felt like she understood what the Jesus meant.  Jesus' eyes had the ability to see things in the spirit, and that is how He could be here on earth yet still be with the Father.  She felt the Lord was saying, that we too have the ability to see things in the Spirit, but that our eyes have been consumed by other things, we have constantly given our eyes to entertainment and other things that block our spiritual eyes from seeing.  

We do not see with our spiritual eyes because we are caught up with earthly things, not taking into account the promises and things the Lord wants to show us. 

Ever since Lexi shared this with us, I have been thinking a lot of Grace and Joshua.  Athough, now they dont have the ability or understanding to chose rightly on what they give there efforts, time,  love & EYES to, we do!   What do I need to do to set them up for spiritual success.  How can I convince my children that there is something greater waiting for them, something more pleasurable and entertaining then the T.V or video games, or cell phones and lap tops.  How can I raise them to find their true pleasure in the Man Christ Jesus....

It's not about law, or religion, it is not about a list of things we are to do, or things we are not to do BUT it is about setting a STRONG foundation for our children of WHO Jesus is and WHY we choose to live the way we do.  I have the ability to, from a young age, raise and mold Grace and Joshua, to value simplicity and the things of God over earthly things and have faith that God would honor us as parents and even now begin to show our kids things in the spirit, give them encounters, take them through that open door in heaven that is open to all of us.

I know this all must begin with Moses and I,  and how we chose to live our lives. So, I ask myself... What do I need to do in my own life? What things do I need to get rid of so that Jesus can have the preeminacne in my home and in our lives as a whole?  How far oh Lord would you let me go and how abandoned would you let me be?  How far can I take this determination?  Much examination of the heart must take place...unforntunalty, we have grown up in a culture where humans are humans, and kids need to be kids...sure hrs playing a video game or watching T.V is great, let kids be kids....But I say, how about raising our children in preperation for the next life we will live and not this one, the one that will fade away.  How awesome would it be for our children to grow up with the truth that they live and breathe for Jesus, and for their hearts to ONLY be satisfied by Him....

Lord I just pray that you would give all parents the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge You, that you would open the eyes of their understanding.  Place a zeal in my heart and in theirs to raise spiritual children.  God I say that I will partner with You, I will  listen and be led by the Spirit.  I will do what it takes and give up everything so the I and my children would walk in the Spirit, that our spiritual eyes would be open to see greater things. Give us WISDOM, UNDERSTANDING, GRACE to raise children for Christ.  AMEN...

Finding BEAUTY in having children & in being a mom..

         Yesterday my little girl turned 2.  As I washed the dishes, thanking God for the gift of being a mom, of being Graces mom, I cried, because for just a few moments, my heart felt the joy,  and the beauty of being a mom.  I was feeling great gratitude towards the Lord for allowing me to raise children, to be a MOTHER.

Psalms 113:9..He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!

We have grown in a culture the depicts mothers as lesser, or that think having a lot of children is complete waist of time, or waste of a woman's life.  I have been asked many times, do you want more??? Ofcoarse I answer, first response is, really?? but why?? your crazy!..but if people and even mommas would understand the great honor that lays in being a mother, if their hearts would just feel for a moment the GREAT JOY, it really does bring, they would think differently.

Yes, its hard work,  yes I do lay down some of my greatest passions, for now, yes, I have to schedule my date night with the hubby and friends, yes, I dont sleep in, yes I clean and I cook, yes I wipe butts and get spit on BUT all for the GLORY of one MAN...JESUS! He is faithful in giving the grace, and the joy to those who love Him.

 Genesis 33:5...And when Esau lifted up his eyes and saw the women and children, he said, “Who are these with you?” Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.”


I feel it is time for people and most importantly the BODY OF CHRIST to view and see motherhood as something to be valued, for godly mothers, fathers and believers to understand and see the high position mothers hold in the eyes of God and to view children through His eyes..  Yes, I have two kids, and YES I WANT MORE...This is all part of my life story....and of many other mommas who have CHOSEN to be a Titus 2 woman.

Titus 2:4-5...that they may admonish the you woman to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemaker, good, obedient to their own husbands, the the word of God may not be blasphemed.

finding beauty in the most beautiful calling.........motherhood.

A letter to my baby girl

Dear Grace,
      Today is your 2nd birthday! I cant believe how big you are, I still remember the great feeling of joy my heart felt as I held you for the very first time.  I still didn't quite understand just how blessed of a woman I was, and what an amazing journey I was about to embark.  But now, I get it, motherhood, the very thing I was born to be! Baby girl you along with your baby brother and your daddy, are my greatest gifts from God.  


You are smart, funny, full of joy, and you can even be a little spicy sometimes!!  I lay down thinking of you and wake up ready to start my day with you! I will always support you, and I try daily to speak words of encouragement over your life.  You are beautiful, brave, and Jesus is going to use you mightily! I love you my little tiny firecracker ;) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Aug 4th, 2009 8:24pm

My 2 yr old baby girl!!